Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Ethiopia - 1st Trip - Day 5

Another gorgeous day today. Especially since today was our court appointment. We were picked up early in the morning and headed over to the court. All this week there have been African officials and delegates here in Addis Ababa for an African Union meeting. So getting around in Addis was taking longer because once a delegate needed to be transported, all traffic stopped in that area. Federal police were all over the place, including our hotel because that's where a lot of the delegates and officials were staying. So instead of it taking just a few minutes to get to court, it took us an hour.  We walked up 3 or 4 flights of stairs (I stopped counting once my asthma started kicking in) and were brought into this waiting room where there were chairs all around the perimeter of the room. There were 6 of us (3 couples).

We were in the same room with the birth families. The whole time I’m trying to figure out which woman is Eva’s mother, if she was even in the room. It turned out that I was sitting next to the birthmom of one of the other couples. They eventually caught each other’s eyes and started smiling at each other and they both knew. The other family also knew right away who their birthmom was. We waited an hour. The birthfamilies went into the judge’s office first and then all 3 couples went in after. We were asked a couple of questions about if we spent time with our children, educated ourselves, planned to continue Ethiopian culture in their lives, had contact with other adoptive families from Ethiopia, if we had contact with our local Ethiopian community, and if we were educated about the grief and loss that they may experience throughout their lifetime.

Unfortunately, Eva’s birthmom did not make it to the court appointment and the judge said she expected to see her first thing Wednesday morning.  We passed our portion. All of our paperwork was there and on Wednesday it will be finalized with the birthmother seeing the judge and making her declaration. After that we headed back to Hannah’s Hope (another hour long bus ride). The birthmoms rode in the same bus with us. At first it was really quiet but then we all started relaxing and it was an enjoyable ride. When we got to Hannah’s Hope, John & I had to wait about an hour or so to see Eva because she was napping.  

Once she woke up I scooped her up and took her outside. Every once in a while there were tears and crying, but I bounced her up and down a bit & told her she was okay and everything was all right and she settled down.  I brought her down in the courtyard and just walked, walked, walked. John said I was definitely gonna lose weight with her because she likes movement and motion. It’s what settles her down.  I finally had her to the point where I could stand still and talk with the other couple that had their baby outside without her crying or fussing. YAY!!

Then the black gate opened and in walked a little boy and a young woman. I was holding on to Eva and it took about 15 seconds for me to realize that this was Eva’s birthmom and brother.  Almaz had already told us that she would be coming but didn’t know what time. I’m actually glad that I saw her in that way because I had so much anxiety over the meeting and this way I had no time to react or get anxious. Boom! There she was. At this point I don’t think she thought I was the adoptive mom because I look like everyone else there. She probably thought I was one of the Special Mothers.  She reached out for the baby and started crying and saying “Melat! Melat!” Which of course caused the baby to start screaming and crying. John tried comforting the birthmom  but Almaz had to remove Eva from the area until birthmom had calmed down.

After she got calm, we went into Almaz’s office and Almaz just asked her questions about her trip. We were told that it took her 3 days to get to Addis Ababa by car with a 3-year old child in tow. Then Almaz read her the “birthmother” letter to her and translated as she was reading it.  We gave her the photo book and John said when she saw the page that showed the bookcase and all the books, she started giggling and smiling. We were able to videotape the whole thing and ask all the questions that we had written down. No tension at all. Afterwards we went outside and took some pictures all together.  They brought in Eva and the poor baby just cried and cried. I felt badly for her because this was the first time that she looked at me as if to help her and I couldn’t. Almaz had to step in and take her back to her Special Mothers.

We hung around for a couple more minutes and then Almaz sent us back to the hotel. She wanted the birthmom to be able to spend time with Eva before they had to leave. She’ll be able to see her more tomorrow after her court appearance. We won’t be there. We’re supposed to go out to the Government Orphanage, the place where all the babies go to before those certain ones come to Hannah’s Hope. So John & I were brought back and we chilled for the rest of the night. We had a huge lunch and relaxed in our room for the rest of the night.

It was a long day but a good day. I was a little bit emotional in the judge’s office when she said that we passed and Eva was our daughter. I was not emotional at all during the meeting with the birthmother, which I had not expected at all.  I’m even more excited now that we get an extra day to see her....YAY!! February 1st is going down in history as a pretty great day!


1 comment:

  1. Loved reading this! Also, thanks for the info about the birth mother meeting. I'm having a hard time trying to imagine what it will all be like, and I know I'll be a bundle of nerves when the time comes! :)

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