Prayerful Decision

**When you least expect it, a seed is planted that you once told yourself 

would not happen. Here's how it manifested in our family**

We got home from our 10-day vacation on July 23rd. The next day, July 24th was our 8-year wedding anniversary and I decided that no business would be attended to until Monday the 25th. The first thing I did Monday morning was to check my e-mail.

I read an e-mail from another member of our Ethiopia family support group, explaining that a multiracial girl, with a birthday on the 26th, was planning on being placed for adoption. I don’t know why, but that little girl resonated in me. I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I called John later in the afternoon and read him the e-mail. He was adamant about us not doing anything about it. We both agreed that if the Lord doesn’t call both of us, then neither of us can do anything about it.


The day of the little girl’s birthday I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I had all kinds of questions about where she was and what she was doing, who she was with and if they were celebrating her birthday with her. For the next several days I still could not stop thinking about her. Every day I would pray for her, her family, adoptive and birth. Every day I would ask God to take this thought out of my head if it truly was not from Him.

By August 3rd, I still could not get that little girl out of my head, so I sent an e-mail to the originator asking for contact information. Thankfully he responded right away, later that day. I also e-mailed a friend who has done both a domestic and international (Ethiopian) adoption asking for the name of her case worker who did her home study. She sent me information back the same day with the case worker’s name as well as the adoption agency she used. When I looked up the adoption agency on the internet it turns out that the adoption attorney who is handling this particular case is also the attorney who represents clients for this particular adoption agency. Not a coincidence! I read the information over and over for a day and then just decided to go ahead and call the attorney’s office. I figured all of these questions I had in my head may all be moot if a family has already started the process of adopting her.

Friday morning, August 5th, I gathered the courage and called the attorney’s office. I had a wonderful and informative conversation with his wife who also works in the office.  It turned out that she had not heard back from the birth mother after several attempts to make contact about their decision. She gave me lots of other very good information that made me feel a lot better about possibly going through with a domestic adoption.

On Saturday the 6th, at a makeup class (tumbling) for Eva, I met a couple that moved here not too long ago from Atlanta, GA.  The wife overheard me talking about adopting Eva from Ethiopia and told me that her daughter was also adopted through a domestic adoption. I introduced myself to her as well as the husband and she & I continued chatting. At the end of the class we agreed that we would exchange information and keep in touch with one another. It turns out that she and her husband are contemplating doing an international adoption. Not a coincidence! Praise God. Of course I told John about the meeting and the discussion that we had.

For the next few weeks I kept pretty busy during the day, but at night adoption questions lingered in my head.  Then on the (Aug) 17th,  I received an e-mail from AGCI with a special announcement that they were giving financial incentives to those returning families who were interested in pursuing another adoption. God always knows. With restrained excitement, I told John about the e-mail. On the 21st I finally broke down and sent the AGCI Ohio Regional Director an e-mail asking questions regarding the home study. On the 27th I sent my AGCI Ethiopia Case Manager and e-mail letting her know that there may be an interest in a 2nd adoption. At this point I just wanted to gather enough information for John and I to be able to sit down and discuss this decision with everything on the table. In between receiving responses back from the 2 e-mails I sent, I started researching adoption grant organizations. I already knew that if we were going to be able to do this at all, we were going to need help, grant help. That’s because I am not going to be able to work this time. I’m at home with Eva. Every night while I laid in bed I prayed and asked God if this was His will for us, to prepare John’s heart for it, and if it wasn’t His will, to take this crazy notion out of my head for good. I prayed this prayer for several weeks.

Finally, on Labor day (Sept. 5th), I couldn’t take it anymore. I was increasingly having problems falling asleep at night. I had spent the last night tossing and turning, huffing and puffing. I even woke John up and he asked me if there was anything that I wanted to talk about. I told him that I didn’t want to talk about it at that time (it was 2 or 3 o’clock in the morning), that we would talk about it in the morning. That morning of Sept 5th I finally mustered up the courage to let John know everything that was on my mind, how I had contacted AGCI with my preliminary questions, everything. I soon learned that John had been praying as well. First he was capturing the thought and dismissing it every time it popped in his head. Then he found himself dreaming about it at night, waking up and still trying to dismiss the dream. After a while he started praying for peace about this adoption. By the time we sat down to discuss this, God had prepared both our hearts for this second adoption.

The next day I contacted AGCI and spoke with someone in Inquiry Services about our situation and what our status was in regards to our first adoption. Usually, their policy states that after a 1st adoption you must be home at least 9 months before starting a 2nd adoption. However, because the waitlist is estimated to be 18 to 24 months, they’ve revised it to having the 2nd post placement (6 month) report approved by AGCI staff.

This decision was such a big one for us, for me. I wasn't able to be my true self until I met John almost 10 years ago. I no longer had to pretend that I liked or didn't like something. We have always been able to talk about ANYTHING. But these last couple of months leading up to this decision, I could feel myself regressing. I wasn't open about my feelings. I would only show a portion of them for fear that there was going to be dissension. I became a little distant and not as communicative because I didn't want to create an argument. I was so afraid that John would chastise me for these feelings that I somewhat reverted back to that 20-something girl in a relationship that tries not to rock the boat.


But the truth is, John wasn't like that, isn't like that, and has never been like that. That fear was Satan trying to put that doubt in my head from the very onset. Satan knows what bringing another little beautiful gem in this family will do, and he was trying to thwart it from the very beginning. I'm blessed that John and I have the wonderful bond that we do because we were able to speak the truth through all the lies and know that God is with us throughout this journey.

We have officially started our 2nd adoption....from Ethiopia....for another little girl. Please pray for us & keep us in your prayers as we begin this next phase of our journey as a family of 3 working to become a family of 4.